Yesterday, I went to the nail salon for a pedicure. Not big news, unless you have seen my feet in sandals lately. I am truly sorry if they have offended you-my last pedicure was over 4 months ago. So, yesterday I finally went to take care of my ugly feet.
I like to watch people while I am getting my nails done. Admit it, you do too. You can learn a lot from what you see and hear in a nail salon. Tragedies and dramas galore! If you do not know this personally, I definitely recommend the experience. It's not spying because you can't help hearing the stories, right? What I learned yesterday blew my mind away. It was a perfectly-timed infusion of hope for my soul. Here is what happened:
As I sat in the massage chair, holding on tight so I would not be thrown out by the sheer force of the massage-really-I watched three girls in their late teen/early twenties come in and begin to choose their nail polish. One of them was seated in the massage chair next to mine and soon I heard her calling out to the others, "I want my toes sparkly!", "Please tell him, I don't think he understands!" ,"I am sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but I am worried.", "I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry." Her slow, halting speech and her mannerisms told me that this sweet girl was developmentally disabled. The other two young women were her caregivers. They may or may not have been related to the girl, but they were clearly in charge of her care.
Each time the sweet girl called out, the caregivers patiently answered her and reassured her that her nails would be as beautiful as she imagined. Several times they got up from their manicures and came over to comfort her to make sure she was understood by the nail technician. They showed no impatience or frustration whatsoever. The caregivers clearly loved this precious girl. Then, a pretty young employee from the salon came over and told the girl how she loved the polish that she had chosen. The teen sat on a stool beside the girl and visited with her for over 5 minutes. Several other employees followed her lead and came over to reassure the anxious girl that her nails would be perfect. The girl beamed and clearly felt special and, finally, understood.
I am pretty sure that I had a goofy smile on my face as I watched. My heart was so full. Seeing the love and acceptance offered to this young girl gave me a new hope for my children's future. There are people in this world who see past the limitations and differences to the true goodness inside. I wish I could could tell the girl's mom what I saw, how I watched people loving her daughter. I think her heart would be full too.
If we all extended this type of love and acceptance, what a different world we would have. It is hard. Mental illness, homelessness, drug abuse, hurting people. Children and adults with disabilities. They are all someone's child. Their mothers rocked them, loved them, and had hope for their future that was dashed away somehow. Extending ourselves and trying to understand is much easier when people are just like us. What I saw yesterday truly hit me hard. I believe I was in that place at that time for a reason and I am grateful.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
My Supporter
When Toby and I began the journey to becoming foster parents, and eventually adding to our family through adoption, we were required to participate in a "home study" to determine if our family was equipped for the job. The process was long and involved and the questions delved into our own upbringings and our marriage. During one of the certifier's visits, he asked us, "Which one of you is the Driver?". He clarified his statement by saying that in every couple he has certified, one spouse was the Driver and the other was a Supporter. Ok, no question, I was the Driver. Foster care was my idea.
I was never one of those teenagers who loved kids and who babysat every weekend. Not at all. I knew I wanted children, but I did not dream of a large family. I surprised myself after our first two daughters were born by very much wanting a third. And then, about 5 years after Jordan was born, God starting to whisper in my ear that we were not done. What? How, not done? Toby and I were not able to have more biological children. What was God thinking? Then, it came-foster care. When I shared my thoughts with Toby, he agreed to complete the classes and home study required for us to become certified as foster parents. Foster care cannot work unless both parents are committed and we were, just on different levels.
Fast forward a few months and Toby is stating that he cannot imagine the baby boy who has been in our home for one week ever leaving us. He was hooked, completely in love with a skinny, slobbery, sweet little boy. I don't know what would have happened if the story had ended poorly and that baby boy's future did not include us. Would we still be foster parents? I am not sure. But Joshua is 14 now and he has blessed our lives beyond description. I firmly believe he and his brother, Levi, who came two years later, were meant to be our children from the very beginning
We have been foster parents for almost 15 years now and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Toby and I have asked ourselves often, "Who would choose this?". Who signs up for disappointment, sleepless nights, property damage, hateful words from broken children, and the heartbreak of watching the impact of abuse and neglect on the innocent? Who wants to work with a system that does not always keep kids from harm? I am not sure if we chose this, or it chose us? Still, we continue. I continue to be the Driver and main advocate and caregiver for the children, but Toby is more involved that I ever expected and he has had my back through long, frustrating, heartbreaking days and nights.
This week, Toby has made two 500-mile (each way)trips. The first, to take a child to stay with Grandma for two weeks on a beautiful lake where there are no chores or siblings to share attention with. The second, this weekend, to pick the same child up again when his anxiety prevents him from being away from home any longer. Both trips were made with no complaint or resentment. My husband, the Supporter, has embraced the children in our home with all of his heart. He has such a huge capacity for love and his actions speak to me of how much he loves me to continue this work when we could and should be empty nesters like many of our friends. He has made such a sacrifice, for the children of course, but also for me so that I can live my dream.
Our experiences with the foster care system could fill a book, but who has time for that? I am too busy wondering what is next for us and trying to stay one step ahead of our exceptional children and their needs. Whatever is next, I will have my Supporter by my side and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Enjoy your weekend:)
I was never one of those teenagers who loved kids and who babysat every weekend. Not at all. I knew I wanted children, but I did not dream of a large family. I surprised myself after our first two daughters were born by very much wanting a third. And then, about 5 years after Jordan was born, God starting to whisper in my ear that we were not done. What? How, not done? Toby and I were not able to have more biological children. What was God thinking? Then, it came-foster care. When I shared my thoughts with Toby, he agreed to complete the classes and home study required for us to become certified as foster parents. Foster care cannot work unless both parents are committed and we were, just on different levels.
Fast forward a few months and Toby is stating that he cannot imagine the baby boy who has been in our home for one week ever leaving us. He was hooked, completely in love with a skinny, slobbery, sweet little boy. I don't know what would have happened if the story had ended poorly and that baby boy's future did not include us. Would we still be foster parents? I am not sure. But Joshua is 14 now and he has blessed our lives beyond description. I firmly believe he and his brother, Levi, who came two years later, were meant to be our children from the very beginning
We have been foster parents for almost 15 years now and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Toby and I have asked ourselves often, "Who would choose this?". Who signs up for disappointment, sleepless nights, property damage, hateful words from broken children, and the heartbreak of watching the impact of abuse and neglect on the innocent? Who wants to work with a system that does not always keep kids from harm? I am not sure if we chose this, or it chose us? Still, we continue. I continue to be the Driver and main advocate and caregiver for the children, but Toby is more involved that I ever expected and he has had my back through long, frustrating, heartbreaking days and nights.
This week, Toby has made two 500-mile (each way)trips. The first, to take a child to stay with Grandma for two weeks on a beautiful lake where there are no chores or siblings to share attention with. The second, this weekend, to pick the same child up again when his anxiety prevents him from being away from home any longer. Both trips were made with no complaint or resentment. My husband, the Supporter, has embraced the children in our home with all of his heart. He has such a huge capacity for love and his actions speak to me of how much he loves me to continue this work when we could and should be empty nesters like many of our friends. He has made such a sacrifice, for the children of course, but also for me so that I can live my dream.
Our experiences with the foster care system could fill a book, but who has time for that? I am too busy wondering what is next for us and trying to stay one step ahead of our exceptional children and their needs. Whatever is next, I will have my Supporter by my side and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Enjoy your weekend:)
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Parenting
I have been flooded with thoughts about parents and parenting lately. I think of all of the different types of parents I know-parents of adult children, parents of children with special needs, adoptive parents, foster parents, birth parents, stepparents, new parents, and parents of children who were taken too soon. Every one of these groups have something in common regardless of the path each is traveling. They handed their hearts over to their children on the day they met them and will never be the same.
Parenting is so hard. I don't care who you are, if you are a parent you have struggled at one time or another. Or every single day. We all talk about how rewarding it is to have children and how much joy they bring into our lives. That fact is public knowledge, but we often don't admit how HARD the job is. Remember when you first had your children and you thought the job of raising them was an 18-year term? Right. Me too.
We could not have realized back then that once we hand over our hearts we will never call them our own again. Adult children harvest as much worry as little ones do, it just has different roots. We are just as helpless to heal their pain as we were were they were an infant with a fever or a teenager with a broken heart. Knowing this has given me a whole new brand of respect for my own parents who chose to adopt me as an infant and have parented me for 46 years so far. And for my birth mother who gave an unimaginable and painful gift to her newborn child and the family waiting for her. That is HARD.
I don't know what your particular struggles are, but I want you to know that I care. When I see or hear of a parent going through a challenging period, I want to tell them, "It is not your fault". Why do we always blame ourselves and each other? It is what we do, I guess. There is no room for judgment here, though. Who can know another's parenting experience? I firmly believe that almost every parent is doing the best they can with what they know. When we know better, we do better.
We are in this together. Parenting is honestly the most life-changing, rewarding, surprising experience I have ever had. I truly feel it is my calling. I just want us all to agree that it is HARD and to reach out a hand to each other when one is in need. I wish we had a universal sign we could use to support one another through the tough times. For now, though, if you see me around town, just know that I know.
Parenting is so hard. I don't care who you are, if you are a parent you have struggled at one time or another. Or every single day. We all talk about how rewarding it is to have children and how much joy they bring into our lives. That fact is public knowledge, but we often don't admit how HARD the job is. Remember when you first had your children and you thought the job of raising them was an 18-year term? Right. Me too.
We could not have realized back then that once we hand over our hearts we will never call them our own again. Adult children harvest as much worry as little ones do, it just has different roots. We are just as helpless to heal their pain as we were were they were an infant with a fever or a teenager with a broken heart. Knowing this has given me a whole new brand of respect for my own parents who chose to adopt me as an infant and have parented me for 46 years so far. And for my birth mother who gave an unimaginable and painful gift to her newborn child and the family waiting for her. That is HARD.
I don't know what your particular struggles are, but I want you to know that I care. When I see or hear of a parent going through a challenging period, I want to tell them, "It is not your fault". Why do we always blame ourselves and each other? It is what we do, I guess. There is no room for judgment here, though. Who can know another's parenting experience? I firmly believe that almost every parent is doing the best they can with what they know. When we know better, we do better.
We are in this together. Parenting is honestly the most life-changing, rewarding, surprising experience I have ever had. I truly feel it is my calling. I just want us all to agree that it is HARD and to reach out a hand to each other when one is in need. I wish we had a universal sign we could use to support one another through the tough times. For now, though, if you see me around town, just know that I know.
Friday, June 27, 2014
The story is not over
When I wrote the post about Angie getting her special bed (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/angiegrover/journal/view/id/51c159796ca00470291a453d) I knew that we had been allowed to participate in something very special. But, really, I had no idea how big this experience would get. How could I?
Even last week, when I wrote about the delivery of the bed to another special child and his mom, I had no idea. I thought the story was over. If you are tired of this story, please feel free to switch back to cruising Facebook or Pinterest now. It is ok. I will never know. But there is a truly incredible ending to this story (or is it another beginning?) and I have to share it to give it the honor that is due.
The day after Toby and the boys delivered the bed, he told me that he had felt to compelled to pray with the child and parent that had received the bed before leaving their apartment. He and the boys gathered around them and they prayed. To be honest, I do not know what was prayed, but it doesn't matter because I know that God heard and that the words were perfect for the moment.
Today, I received an email from my friend Kristy and this is what it said, "Hello Kara & Toby, I wanted to write you and share some exciting news! I called ------ to check in & talk with her about the bed & the parts that are on order. I asked how the bed is working for -------& she was thrilled!
Even last week, when I wrote about the delivery of the bed to another special child and his mom, I had no idea. I thought the story was over. If you are tired of this story, please feel free to switch back to cruising Facebook or Pinterest now. It is ok. I will never know. But there is a truly incredible ending to this story (or is it another beginning?) and I have to share it to give it the honor that is due.
The day after Toby and the boys delivered the bed, he told me that he had felt to compelled to pray with the child and parent that had received the bed before leaving their apartment. He and the boys gathered around them and they prayed. To be honest, I do not know what was prayed, but it doesn't matter because I know that God heard and that the words were perfect for the moment.
Today, I received an email from my friend Kristy and this is what it said, "Hello Kara & Toby, I wanted to write you and share some exciting news! I called ------ to check in & talk with her about the bed & the parts that are on order. I asked how the bed is working for -------& she was thrilled!
She said that Toby & your boys are just wonderful & that they prayed for her. She said it was so needed and wonderful. At that point I saw a beautiful opening to talk about Jesus and I asked her if she had accepted Him as her Lord & Savior. She said she hadn't & that she had gone as a child w/her Grandma to Jehovah Witness church & that she was married to a 'Jack' Mormon, she said that she didn't believe neither of those beliefs and so they never stuck.
At that point I asked her if she wanted to receive Christ as her Lord & Savior & she said YES! I lead her in prayer & she received her salvation. HOW AWESOME! Thank you Kara for your prayers & for you Toby for leading the way & your and your boys prayer for her & her son. What you all have done is so wonderful & I just wanted to share how the Lord used us to lead her to Him. "
I cried. Even reading it now, I want to cry. To know that my boys were present at a time when this family most needed to know someone cared is priceless. To learn that my husband prayed with this stranger for her child warms my heart. And to hear that this woman has a new hope for her future is the best news of all. At the end of the day, it is the people of the story that really matter.
All of this brings me back to Angie and her endless gifts to us. If not for Angie, we would have not experienced this awesome, full-circle, life-changing miracle. To see lives changed is to truly experience life and I am so grateful for the privilege of having my family touched by this miracle. We have been given an awesome gift in this precious child, a changed perspective on life and an awareness of what is really important. Please pray for this precious mom and her child. They are fighting a difficult battle and they are now held close in our hearts.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Milestones
Angie achieved another important milestone this week. She is now sleeping in a "big girl bed". Most children achieve this milestone around age 2 or 3, so she is not terribly late, but the fact that she is able to do this at all is AMAZING. At age 6, Angie has never slept without walls around her. She has never been safe that way.
When Angie was 4, we received the enormous gift of a safe bed for her. The bed was beautiful; custom-made in a furniture store in Portland. When I say it was a gift, I mean it. At age 4, Angie was sleeping in a crib because she needed to be safe at night. If she were to get out of bed, her limited vision and decreased motor abilities put her at risk for injury. We could not imagine moving her to a bed and we didn't know what to do. We were GIVEN the bed at the perfect time in a selfless act of giving from a group called Bella Beds. Angie slept soundly in the bed for two years.
Recently, we started talking about transitioning Angie to a traditional bed. Our philosophy has always been to give her as little support as we can and to challenge her when we are able. We have been leaving the doors open on the bed for a couple of months to prepare Angie for the change. She has not been sleeping through the night as often as we would like, but we have decided to go ahead with the transition.
I contacted my friend, Kristy from Bella Beds and she had a match for us. I knew she would:) She connected us with a single parent with a 5 year-old boy who desperately needed a good night's sleep. Mom was literally sleeping with one eye open out of fear for her son's safety. This weekend, Toby and Josh dismantled the bed and delivered and set it up in the family's home. They were overwhelmed by the experience of providing such a simple, yet crucial gift of a good night's sleep. It was really touching, even for a couple of guys who pretend it wasn't. The family, clearly of very limited means, wrote a heartwarming note which I think I will keep forever. Because I know.
I know that God always delivers exactly what we need when we need it. Even when it feels too late, His timing is perfect. I know that my child will continue to bring me through miraculous experiences and will bring people into our lives who will make me grateful despite our challenges. I know that we will have easy times and hard times ahead and I do not want to forget the blessings that have been bestowed on my family. I want to remember. Every broken, frustrating, exhausting, surprising, eye-opening minute of this wonderful adventure.
Angie is still adjusting and she is not able to sleep all night yet, but she loves her new bed, and especially loves that Josh gave it to her. His just-under-six-foot body no longer fit his twin bed:)
Today, Angie and I attended a yearly court hearing with the judge that has presided over her case since birth. Angie proudly came forward to the head table and listened politely while the professionals and I gave updates on the past year. At the end, the judge told Angie that she could have the last word and asked if there was anything she wanted to tell him. "Yes," she said, "I love my mom". I never get tired of hearing that.
When Angie was 4, we received the enormous gift of a safe bed for her. The bed was beautiful; custom-made in a furniture store in Portland. When I say it was a gift, I mean it. At age 4, Angie was sleeping in a crib because she needed to be safe at night. If she were to get out of bed, her limited vision and decreased motor abilities put her at risk for injury. We could not imagine moving her to a bed and we didn't know what to do. We were GIVEN the bed at the perfect time in a selfless act of giving from a group called Bella Beds. Angie slept soundly in the bed for two years.
Recently, we started talking about transitioning Angie to a traditional bed. Our philosophy has always been to give her as little support as we can and to challenge her when we are able. We have been leaving the doors open on the bed for a couple of months to prepare Angie for the change. She has not been sleeping through the night as often as we would like, but we have decided to go ahead with the transition.
I contacted my friend, Kristy from Bella Beds and she had a match for us. I knew she would:) She connected us with a single parent with a 5 year-old boy who desperately needed a good night's sleep. Mom was literally sleeping with one eye open out of fear for her son's safety. This weekend, Toby and Josh dismantled the bed and delivered and set it up in the family's home. They were overwhelmed by the experience of providing such a simple, yet crucial gift of a good night's sleep. It was really touching, even for a couple of guys who pretend it wasn't. The family, clearly of very limited means, wrote a heartwarming note which I think I will keep forever. Because I know.
I know that God always delivers exactly what we need when we need it. Even when it feels too late, His timing is perfect. I know that my child will continue to bring me through miraculous experiences and will bring people into our lives who will make me grateful despite our challenges. I know that we will have easy times and hard times ahead and I do not want to forget the blessings that have been bestowed on my family. I want to remember. Every broken, frustrating, exhausting, surprising, eye-opening minute of this wonderful adventure.
Today, Angie and I attended a yearly court hearing with the judge that has presided over her case since birth. Angie proudly came forward to the head table and listened politely while the professionals and I gave updates on the past year. At the end, the judge told Angie that she could have the last word and asked if there was anything she wanted to tell him. "Yes," she said, "I love my mom". I never get tired of hearing that.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
The end of the beginning....
Angie completed kindergarten yesterday. The milestone is a little bittersweet for me but mostly I am just so proud of her progress. It was the end of the beginning-the beginning of a new love for learning. So much has happened for our girl this year, and she has finished strong.
I waited to share some exciting news and now I am ready. About 4 months ago, I became interested in doTerra essential oils and how they can be used to heal my family in place of medicine. I still believe in the power of medicine, but since starting to use essential oils, I have been able to treat fevers, earaches, back pain, tummy aches, sore throats, pink eye, headaches, insomnia, anxiety and allergies without medication. The most valuable results, though, are the impact that essential oils have had on Angie's ability to self-calm, focus, and regulate her impulsivity. We have used blends of essential oils at home and at school with some pretty indisputable results. And it gets even better.......
Last month, I added a blend called DDR Prime to Angie's protocol. DDR Prime is reported to facilitate the regeneration of cells and has been used to help children and adults with ADHD, autism, brain injuries, and developmental delays, among other things. I love to read the stories of other families' results but Angie's story is my favorite. Since using the blend each morning and evening, Angie has increased the use of her right, previously unused, arm to help with daily tasks. She has increased her recognition of letters, shapes, and letter sounds by approximately 30-50%. Most importantly, she recognized two high-frequency words for the first time ever last week. Our girl is going to read! Her language skills have improved and her use of language has become much more complex over the past month. You have to admit this is pretty spectacular.
If you know little or nothing about essential oils, or if you do not believe in their healing power, that is okay. I still want you to know about Angie's amazing progress this year. The other major factor in her progress is Ms. Stafford, her teacher, and Mrs. Villines, her educational assistant. These two women learned Angie and they continued to change approaches to help her succeed. They were patient and unfailingly kind and gentle, even when Angie challenged them. We are so blessed to have them and there really are no words to describe our gratitude. As a team, we have decided that Angie will benefit from another year of kindergarten and we pray that both of these important people will be able to continue what they have begun.
Yesterday was a school-wide field day and this year the kindergarten class was invited to participate. Both Ms. Stafford and I had reservations about having Angie participate but it in the end I did not want her to miss an opportunity to celebrate the end of the year with her class. Jordan went along to help and they had a blast! Angie was able to participate in the sack race with one adult holding the sack and another helping her jump as her classmates cheered her on. I am sorry I missed it, but I suspect I would have been in tears watching. It was the perfect end to a challenging, yet ultimately rewarding year.
If you interacted with Angie this year, thank you. You know who you are: friends, family, teachers, assistants, community members, classified staff. You are all partially responsible for Angie's successes and we look forward to sharing more of this unending miracle with you. It is the end of the beginning.
I waited to share some exciting news and now I am ready. About 4 months ago, I became interested in doTerra essential oils and how they can be used to heal my family in place of medicine. I still believe in the power of medicine, but since starting to use essential oils, I have been able to treat fevers, earaches, back pain, tummy aches, sore throats, pink eye, headaches, insomnia, anxiety and allergies without medication. The most valuable results, though, are the impact that essential oils have had on Angie's ability to self-calm, focus, and regulate her impulsivity. We have used blends of essential oils at home and at school with some pretty indisputable results. And it gets even better.......
Last month, I added a blend called DDR Prime to Angie's protocol. DDR Prime is reported to facilitate the regeneration of cells and has been used to help children and adults with ADHD, autism, brain injuries, and developmental delays, among other things. I love to read the stories of other families' results but Angie's story is my favorite. Since using the blend each morning and evening, Angie has increased the use of her right, previously unused, arm to help with daily tasks. She has increased her recognition of letters, shapes, and letter sounds by approximately 30-50%. Most importantly, she recognized two high-frequency words for the first time ever last week. Our girl is going to read! Her language skills have improved and her use of language has become much more complex over the past month. You have to admit this is pretty spectacular.
If you know little or nothing about essential oils, or if you do not believe in their healing power, that is okay. I still want you to know about Angie's amazing progress this year. The other major factor in her progress is Ms. Stafford, her teacher, and Mrs. Villines, her educational assistant. These two women learned Angie and they continued to change approaches to help her succeed. They were patient and unfailingly kind and gentle, even when Angie challenged them. We are so blessed to have them and there really are no words to describe our gratitude. As a team, we have decided that Angie will benefit from another year of kindergarten and we pray that both of these important people will be able to continue what they have begun.
Yesterday was a school-wide field day and this year the kindergarten class was invited to participate. Both Ms. Stafford and I had reservations about having Angie participate but it in the end I did not want her to miss an opportunity to celebrate the end of the year with her class. Jordan went along to help and they had a blast! Angie was able to participate in the sack race with one adult holding the sack and another helping her jump as her classmates cheered her on. I am sorry I missed it, but I suspect I would have been in tears watching. It was the perfect end to a challenging, yet ultimately rewarding year.
If you interacted with Angie this year, thank you. You know who you are: friends, family, teachers, assistants, community members, classified staff. You are all partially responsible for Angie's successes and we look forward to sharing more of this unending miracle with you. It is the end of the beginning.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Living the dream
I am living my dream right now. Before you get too carried away thinking I have been whisked away across the country again or have won the lottery, or given a new car, boat, ring, whatever. No. I have a houseful of amazing, sweet, loud, needy, broken children. I love my life.
I wrote before about Little Guy and his transition to our home and its rules. He is doing so well. He has learned that boundaries are formed to protect him and he does not need to be in control of every detail of his life because we are able to protect and care for him. And he GETS it. He is able to be a child and he is a busy, exuberant, happy boy. I love my life.
There is more, though. Little Miss returned to our home after 6 weeks in a placement that did not work out. We could not say no. We have been here before. Kids returning for a repeat stay in our home are not the same as when they left. They have experienced loss twice over since we said good-bye and it has left an imprint on their heart. No less true for Little Miss. But, still. She has captured our hearts once again and we are thrilled that she is back. I love my life.
Yesterday, Little Miss suddenly started having serious breathing problems. My first thought was that she had a history of asthma that I didn't know about. My second thought was that this child needed help, no matter what her history was. We took her to the hospital and she improved quickly after receiving breathing treatments and medication. The poor baby has pneumonia. It came on so fast and unexpectedly. Kind of like her placement with us. She is feeling much better today and is soaking up the extra love and attention. The boys' friends just came in to ask how she is feeling and that made me smile. The love and compassion my children have for foster children spills over and is contagious. I love my life.
I have had a rough couple of weeks, personally. Hard decisions and unexpected changes. Conflict and difficult conversations. Even so, nothing takes away from the feeling of having a home full of children who have overcome challenges that most of us, thankfully, will never experience. They are superheros and are much stronger than most adults. I am so blessed by these children. I love my life.
I wrote before about Little Guy and his transition to our home and its rules. He is doing so well. He has learned that boundaries are formed to protect him and he does not need to be in control of every detail of his life because we are able to protect and care for him. And he GETS it. He is able to be a child and he is a busy, exuberant, happy boy. I love my life.
There is more, though. Little Miss returned to our home after 6 weeks in a placement that did not work out. We could not say no. We have been here before. Kids returning for a repeat stay in our home are not the same as when they left. They have experienced loss twice over since we said good-bye and it has left an imprint on their heart. No less true for Little Miss. But, still. She has captured our hearts once again and we are thrilled that she is back. I love my life.
Yesterday, Little Miss suddenly started having serious breathing problems. My first thought was that she had a history of asthma that I didn't know about. My second thought was that this child needed help, no matter what her history was. We took her to the hospital and she improved quickly after receiving breathing treatments and medication. The poor baby has pneumonia. It came on so fast and unexpectedly. Kind of like her placement with us. She is feeling much better today and is soaking up the extra love and attention. The boys' friends just came in to ask how she is feeling and that made me smile. The love and compassion my children have for foster children spills over and is contagious. I love my life.
I have had a rough couple of weeks, personally. Hard decisions and unexpected changes. Conflict and difficult conversations. Even so, nothing takes away from the feeling of having a home full of children who have overcome challenges that most of us, thankfully, will never experience. They are superheros and are much stronger than most adults. I am so blessed by these children. I love my life.
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