A Life in Pictures

This post might seem like it is just a bunch of pictures.  Or, maybe, it is much more.  You can decide.  Last week, we met my oldest daughter, Kaeley at Lake Sacajawea in Longview so she could take some pictures.  It was a perfect day, with just enough sunshine and light combined with the beginning twinges of Fall.  The pictures Kaeley took captured something special. Something I knew about, but sometimes I forget.  I needed to see it, I guess.  My child is a miracle.

Have you ever seen such unreserved joy in your life?  Every single picture depicts a child who has no regrets or reservations.  She is not wondering what other people think, if they like her, or if her hair looks okay.  She doesn't care.

She looks like she is watching something funny, but she's not.  This is her reaction to life itself.  Every. Single. Day.

Angie loves everyone.  Accepts everyone.  Helps them if they need it.  And she finds instant friendship with all that she meets.

If you have been reading the blog, or my Caringbridge page before that, you know the story.  Angie's prognosis was grim before the surgery that saved her life.  We had to fight hard to keep the doctors from giving up on her.  For most, that is old news.  But for me, it is my daily dose of hope.  My child is a walking, talking miracle.  She had half of her brain removed and she is thriving, living beyond our expectations.

Have you had a bad day recently?  You know the one.  The day when it is 9:00 AM and you already feel like crawling back into bed? The day when your alarm didn't go off, the kids were late for school, there is nothing to make for dinner, the school calls about a discipline issue, etc.  You can fill in the blanks, you know what I am talking about.  I have those days, too, but look at this:

How can I possibly stay down when I have a child who cannot contain her joy about simply being alive?  She has no clue that she has cheated death and it doesn't matter.  She must perform most tasks one-handed and she couldn't care less.  Most daily tasks are a struggle.  But she is beside her self with happiness.  Not just in pictures, in real life too.

She is my hero.  My reminder not to take myself too seriously, and to take time to live in the moment.  She is beautiful, inside and out.

I am thankful for the pictures.  Of course, who doesn't love pictures of their kids?  It is more than that, though.  Seeing them all together, I realize that this is really what her life is all about.  Living every moment fully.  She does not pose for the pictures, she is living.  I would never have written this 3 years ago and it feels so good to be watching this precious child shine.

Yesterday was one of those days.  You know the kind.  It was a fighting, naughty children, put-their-pajamas-on-at-6 kind of day.  A countdown-to-bedtime kind of day.  Angie was coming down with a cold and she had no tolerance for any of the rest of us.  Little Princess was determined to push all of Angie's buttons and a few of mine too. I had a new pressure canner and 50 pounds of apples to make into applesauce, so I was impatient with my lovely children and I forgot that colds and bad moods do not put themselves on hold to respect my agenda.

Despite the trying day yesterday, the weekend was filled with special moments and it is one of my favorite weekends in a long time.  On Friday, I met Kaeley at Lake Sacajewea in Longview and she took some spectacular pictures of the girls.  A little preview:

She captured Angie's spunk and energy perfectly.  I have a few others but have to keep them to myself to protect Little Princess' privacy.  We had such a nice evening and we shared dinner with friends afterwards.

On Saturday, Toby and I took the kids to a u-pick farm to pick apples and pears.  It was a rare day with all four of the younger kids together and we had so much fun.  I wish we had done this sooner.  We got a little carried away-thus the 50 pounds of apples.  That was kind of spontaneous and a little ambitious.

 

Angie was not able to walk for long and Josh was kind enough to drive her around the orchard in the wagon with our fruit.  She was happy to shout orders at us from her throne and she didn't seem to mind not being able to pick the fruit as long she had apples to hold on to.

When we were done picking, we drove down the road to the Cooper Mountain Vineyard.  Toby and I had a glass of wine and the kids played, picked grapes, and chased the chickens around the grounds.  It was a beautiful day and I loved that we did not have to hurry to go anywhere.

Many families have days like this often.  For us, though, it was precious and rare.  We do not take the time to simply spend unscheduled time together.  We should, we just don't. It was perfect.  As Rose Kennedy said, "Life is not a matter of milestones, but
of moments."

Back to School

Our kids went back to school this week.  For parents, the return to school causes anxiety for a variety of reasons.  For parents of children with special needs, the anxiety is multiplied and worries about services, behavioral issues, stamina, and teasing by other children are added to the mix. This is not any less true for me. I had so many fears about this week.  The good news is that most of them were not realized and my children and their teachers had no need for them.

Angie is in a full-day Kindergarten program this year.  Last year, as I think I mentioned, she struggled with frustration and behavioral issues throughout the day.  As soon as her teacher and assistant would find a strategy that worked, she would change things up on them.  By the end of the year, I was overwhelmed and wondered, honestly, if she could ever be successful in school.  I could not imagine her enduring an entire day of school when she was struggling to stay in class for 3 hours.

I am not sure where that child went, but she has been replaced by a new, mature, ready-for-school Angie.  Over the summer, Angie grew in so many ways and it was obvious that she had many new skills that would serve her well in school.  Still, I worried.  We planned for Angie to attend every day of school this week, while the other kids had a staggered start schedule.  Our girl knocked it out of the park!  She has not had one time-out all week and she comes home with reports of her day and her new friends.  She amazes me, really.  I have so much hope for this school year-my eyes actually are tearing as I write this.

 

Levi is also repeating the grade he was in last year.  This was not a decision we made lightly.  There were multiple meetings with school staff and all options were considered for him. We do not regret the decision, but as parents it is hard to see your child disappointed and worried.  This summer, we talked with Levi about the benefits of repeating 6th grade and eventually he accepted that it was the best plan for him.  But still.  He was a trooper and on the first day of school he saw that many of his friends were in his class and he likes his new teacher a lot.  I am not going to lie-we have had a really difficult summer with Levi and did not know what to expect because transitions of any kind are hard for him.  The week had some bright spots, though.  Levi has a new Personal Support Worker through Developmental Disability Services and this individual has proven to be an absolute Godsend.  He and Levi have really connected and I think that he will play a key role in Levi's success at school. More about that later.

Josh is a freshman in high school this year.  He has never played football in his life, and yet he decided that he would play this year.  This decision was made one hour before practice started on the first day.  That's my boy:)  Mr. Last-Minute.  If you tell him to be ready to go somewhere at 9AM, he will get out of bed at 8:59.  Really, though, Josh is the kindest, gentlest young man I know and I cannot imagine him slamming his body into someone on purpose.  And besides that, this momma is scared.  He came home last night and reported that the varsity team had 3 injured players during the game last night.  YIKES!!

It is good to be back in a routine.  My kids need that and I can see them relax and thrive when they can predict what will happen next.  Despite the anxiety of the first few days of school-and really the whole summer-I am feeling really hopeful about the year ahead of us.  I have said it before, but it bears repeating: Our schools have an amazing, compassionate, skilled staff and I would not live anywhere else.  We are grateful every day that our children are so well cared-for when we are away from us.

I hope you have all had a great back-to-school experience and are enjoying the sunny weekend.