Homecoming

Last weekend, our local high school celebrated Homecoming.  This event always takes me back to my own high school experience and the traditions we observed at Astoria High School.  This weekend, Josh and his girlfriend Madeline attended the homecoming dance.  Madeline was the Sophomore Class Princess and she could not have been more beautiful.

We had another Homecoming in our family this weekend.........Levi moved home from the group home he has lived in for the past 9 months.  This was not a decision we made lightly.  In fact, Toby and I agonized over it until practically the night before it happened.  This is not a parenting decision that can be made without serious contemplation.  When push comes to shove, we want our son to be home where he belongs.  We took a deep breath and dove in with both feet.  So far, it has been amazing.  Levi started school on Monday and he loves being back with his friends.  When we go to bed at night, it just feels right to have all of us under one roof.

We don't know what the future holds for us.  Levi has a diagnosis that will cause lifelong challenges.  He is not the same child who moved to Portland last December, though.  He is an old soul.  He understands life in a way that no child should ever have to. But he has also learned skills that will serve him well as he moves forward.  We do not regret our decision last December. But we are so very glad to have our boy home with us.

It is a very happy Homecoming for sure.

Waiting

We are in a pattern of waiting right now.  Have you ever felt that way?  Life goes on, day after day, and we do what we need to do.  But, still, we are waiting.......

We are waiting for Levi to come home.  We have a moving date, October 23rd.  We have met with the school and set up a schedule and program for him. We have completed reams of paperwork, hours of family counseling, and have hired a support worker.  But still, we are waiting.

We are waiting for our first grandchild to be born, and then another very soon.  Kaeley's due date was the 12th of October.  If we think we are waiting, she and Tristan are even more so.  I should not complain, but the waiting is so hard!!

We are waiting for Angie's adoption to be completed.  Unfortunately, we have no control over the process and it is excruciating.  We have already waited for seven years.  To her, that is a lifetime and she lets us know on a regular basis, saying, "Come on, let's do this!".  Her spirit and personality are priceless.  However, we are waiting......

There is a value in waiting, I know.  We must need to learn patience.  Right?  Or, we just need to trust that God knows what He is doing and that His timing is perfect. I know.  It's not that we aren't busy and have things to do. We are crazy-busy right now!  Toby and I are just not the type to wait around for something to happen if we don't have to. We make it happen, one way or another.  This is just our nature, so it is not surprising that all this waiting is making us uncomfortable.  And then I found this...

And I remember.....every miracle is worth waiting for.

Today was a day that I will always remember.  I spent the day helping Josh to plan his invitation to the Homecoming dance for his girlfriend, Madeline.  At first glance it might not seem that special, but to me it was incredibly so.

Josh is our "easy child".  Oh, there have been bumps along the way.  Mostly because school is boring and irrelevant for a 15 year-old boy. Besides that, Josh has been a pleasure and a joy to parent.  Being the older brother of two siblings with special needs is a unique experience that most kids don't have.  Josh has managed the challenge with compassion and grace that is far beyond his years.  And he has sacrificed.

Today, I had a chance to give him my time and attention and it was amazing.  Josh knew exactly what he wanted to do to invite Madeline to the dance and I was just along for support-to cook their dinner.  He made a sign, complete with lights, and ordered flowers with a sweet card.  It was fun to see his anticipation and to watch her delight when she saw his efforts.  So much fun.

I am grateful for Josh because he reminds me that life is fun and spontaneous.  When I tend to get caught up in the details he reminds me of the little things in life, which are actually big things.  Today was for Josh and Madeline. I was just an extra.  But it made me realize how fortunate I am for this very special boy's presence in my life.  He reminds me of all that is good and right in the world and I am so grateful.

The Process

I have shared that we are going through the process to adopt Angie.  When the state child welfare office told us that we FINALLY could adopt, we were over-the-top thrilled.  We could not believe it!!!  Fast forward four months and we have barely moved forward in the process.  Are we frustrated?  You bet.

I try to stay positive in my blog posts but this is ridiculous.  We have waited 7 years.  The first delay in the process was that Angie's birth father claimed to be a Native American.  There is a law (ICWA) that protects children who are descendants of Native American so his claim had to be explored.  For four months.  Now it has been established that he is not a Native American and we can move to the next step.....

Current Caretaker Committee. If we ever get to the committee, they are charged with determining if our home is the best long-term placement for Angie.  After SEVEN years!  Is it just me, or does this seem like a waste of time?  Not that she is not amazing, because she is, but we don't exactly have any competition in the adoption ring at this point.  We are her family.

I am frustrated. The state recently has quickly separated long-term placements from the only parents they have known.  They do not hesitate when this is the case.  However, when a family who deeply loves a child and has walked the journey we have is presented to them for adoption they are in no hurry at all.  I know what They are thinking......she is in a stable placement.  But They are wrong.

True, Angie is in a stable placement.  We will NEVER give up on her.  But what They are overlooking (even though we have told them multiple times) is that Angie knows she is in foster care and she does not want to be.  Often, Angie comments to me, "Mom, I am a foster child, I want to be adopted". My heart is broken.  This child has cheated death, overcome the odds, and has created a life of victory.  She deserves to be adopted.

I am sorry for the downer post.  We have yet to schedule our Current Caretaker Committee meeting despite my fervent request and I am tired of the delays.  Angie deserves better.  I will try to post updates that are more positive as we move through the process.