Change

How do you feel about change?  If you live in my family it happens on a daily basis and you never know what is coming next.  Some people thrive on this sort of existence.  I would not say that describes me but I realized something today.  Our family is always changing and that is not the norm.  Most people cannot imagine coming home and not knowing how many children you have, as Toby has quite often.

For most people, if you give birth to two children, your family has two children.  Not our family.  Our numbers and dynamics change regularly.  I mentioned that we have had our former Little Miss return to our home this week.  I am glad that we were able to provide a familiar environment for her, but she has experienced so much loss that this is not a "win" for us.  That is hard for Angie to understand because she is so happy to have her friend back.  And yet, we are grieving for our Little Miss.

Did I mention that I am going to be a grandma?  Actually twice in the next few months.  So bizarre, isn't it?  There is so much to consider.  I am praying constantly for my future grandchildren's health and safety and for their parents.  Another change for us.  And so much joy.

Toby and I are considering some other really positive changes for our family, too, but we are not ready to reveal them yet. I think that 2015 is going to become a banner year for the Harris family but we will have to see what comes of our plans.

Angie had a sleep study last night.  What an experience!  OHSU performs their sleep studies at the Marriott Residence Inn, which is a very comfortable hotel.  However, the experience of sleeping in a room with a camera in it all night was not comfortable and by the time it was over I am sure the technician suspected that I was the one needing a sleep study.  Angie was a trooper, though. She fell asleep 10 minutes after getting in bed and she woke up exactly 10 minutes before the end of the study.  How anyone can sleep with all of this on is a mystery to me:

We are anxious for the results so we can try to help our girl sleep better.  We can cross one more adventure off our list.  Angie is having another laser treatment on her face and arms on Monday, so she will be sporting her "polka dots" again.

Like I said, change is what we are about.  Keep posted, I am sure there is more to come.......

It happened today, as it has before. We were called and asked to take one of our former foster children in again.  She left our home 6 months ago after a 9 month stay in our home.  This is a pretty long stay for us so when I got the call I did not feel like I could refuse. If this child did not come back to our home, it would be detrimental to her development.

She came tonight and I cannot begin to describe the emotions and tenderness I felt for this child. She has experienced such loss. Even in the middle of the time in our home, she was returned to a parent and then back to us one month later for another 8 months.  She is so fragile.

So, here she is, this broken child.  You do all of the normal comfort measures, but is it enough?  Who knows? I guess you can feel inadequate or you can decide that you are doing the best you can.  I am not sure which I should embrace yet.  Will she survive yet another transition in her life? Can she overcome this setback?

It is too soon to tell.  For now, I have decided to love her as much as I can.  To pour my time and attention into her so she know that she matters!!!  It may or may not be enough, but it is what I have to give and I know my life, and hopefully hers, will be better for it.  The best is yet to come for this girl, I am sure of it.

Continuing on the Path

I feel bad that I have not been keeping my blog very current.  We have had a constant influx of temporary foster placements, one after another.  It has been a crazy few weeks of tantrums, learning new routines, trampoline jumping, and climbing.  Oh, yes, we had a spider monkey here for a while.  He climbed every surface in our home and did he ever keep us on our toes!!!

This has been an important week.  Angie has finished Kindergarten and is she ever ready for first grade!  I don't even know how to describe the gains she has made this year.  Her determination to keep up with her peers is inspiring.  Toby attended her Field Day on Tuesday and he had as much fun as she did.  And then there was the cotton candy........

Last day with her friends

Her much-loved "helper" Ms. Villines

Angie's good friend, Miss Heidi

Miss Heidi took Angie on her first ferry ride after school:

Angie is so loved and we are blessed to have many caring people who help her on a daily basis.  Her life is full and rich.  If you know her, you know that she does not dwell on what is difficult but chooses to embrace every single day as new and exciting.

Today, Angie had an appointment in the Cranio-Facial Clinic at Randall Children's Hospital.  She was seen by 11 professionals in one day.  Days like this remind me of the many challenges we still have ahead, which I barely consider most of the time.  It looks like Angie will require some major treatments in the future and I hate that her future cannot be free of worry after all she has already endured.  She was a trooper today and, as always, the professionals working with her were amazed by her gracious presence and her courage.

Angie will see her rehab doctor and have a sleep study next week and we hope to get additional answers.  We will continue on the journey that is her life and see what it brings.  It is such a privilege to be on this path with her and to see her touch lives everywhere she goes.