Crossing over

CROSSING OVER

Angie crossed over today from a weekly routine with therapy as its main focus to a routine that will focus on education.  Today, Angie had her last therapy session with her occupational therapist, Laura, whom she has seen weekly for over 3 years.  Angie has been in weekly therapy at Emanuel Hospital for 6 years-since she was 2 months old, so the decision to discontinue her therapy now was not easy.  Ultimately, we decided that a full day of kindergarten plus the trip to Portland and an hour or two of therapy was just going to be too much for her.

Giving this up wasn't easy for me for a few different reasons.  Number One-I am a creature of habit and my week has included a Tuesday trip to Portland for so long I can't remember what I did on Tuesdays before Angie came.  I will especially miss our lunch and shopping trip to New Seasons every week.  Number Two-I feel that if I discontinue Angie's therapy, I may not be doing all that I can to support her development and help her reach her potential.  Otherwise known as Mommy Guilt.  You know it well, I'll bet, if you are a mom.  Number Three-I now have to trust school-based service providers to identify Angie's needs and share them with me.  I have to give up control and that is not easy.

What to do?  The decision is made and now we will move on.  I have spent most of the summer questioning my decisions-this one and the decision to have Angie repeat another year of kindergarten.  I will never know what the outcome of either decision would have been had Toby and I chosen differently, but I do know this:

Angie is going to ROCK kindergarten this year.  Our girl is so ready!  She can spell and write her name (with a tiny bit of help), identify letters and letter sounds, identify all colors correctly, and she is learning every single day.  Her development is not that far off from that of other children entering kindergarten and I cannot wait to see her blossom this year.  She will have the tireless Ms. Stafford cheering her on and new friends by her side.  I cannot wait.

Angie will miss Laura, and her speech therapist, Chris, who left for an awesome new job last week.  She will return to the hospital next summer for a burst of therapy and I am already anxious for her to show Laura what she has learned.  Change is good, I know that.  We are heading to Idaho soon.  It is my quiet place, where I can reset the tapes playing in my head and prepare for the year to come.  It will be perfect and then, LOOK OUT KINDERGARTEN, HERE SHE COMES!