After the Waiting

If I could define our parenting of Levi over the past year I would call it Waiting.  First, we were waiting to see if moving him home from his group home placement was the right decision (It was not).  Next, we were waiting to get supportive services in our home and at school to address his educational and behavioral challenges.  Soon after Levi moved home, he became the victim of a crime and was a witness in a long investigation.  Although we were promised that the offender would be punished, we are still waiting.

The longest, hardest period of waiting was when we realized Levi needed more supervision and support than we could provide in our family home despite our dedicated efforts.  We reached out to the Department of Developmental Disabilities and they moved into action, but there were no placements available, so again we were waiting.  During this time, Levi's behaviors became increasingly dangerous and he became involved in the juvenile system.  We did not know what the consequences would be for him and again we waited.

Finally, in July, there was an end in sight and we entered the beginning of the end of our waiting.  Levi was able to move into a group home in Hillsboro where he can be safe and his needs can be met.  It is perfect.  The staff is invested in his success and the four other boys in the home are a good match for Levi, unlike his previous placement.  So what happens After the Waiting?

After the Waiting, Levi is able to do the activities he loves in an environment that is safe.  He is swimming, riding his scooter, playing outside, and THIS:

Levi will be having drum lessons, which has been a long-held dream for him.  His confidence is growing as he is in a safe, supportive environment and is experiencing successes on a daily basis.  We are able to visit often, talk daily,  and to enjoy day trips with Levi.  There will be home visits, too, but for now Levi is where he needs to be.

After the Waiting, Levi will start school at Oak Grove Academy in Gales Creek.  Levi and I visited the school yesterday and like his new home, it is perfect.  There are 30 students in the school and he will be in a classroom of 7 students.  The school provides individual programming for children in grades 6-12 who have special needs.  I am so excited for him and he was happy to learn that one of his housemates will be in his class.  Oak Grove has a highly qualified staff, increased supervision, daily individual and group counseling, and electives like sign language, cooking, and gardening.  We love our local school district, but its budget and resources just cannot provide a similar setting.

After the Waiting, we can breathe easier and release the anxiety that waiting brings.  Having a family member with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is stressful and emotionally exhausting and there is healing that needs to occur for all of us.  The waiting was hard for Toby and I, but it had to be even harder for Levi.  I am a firm believer that FAS (along with Reactive Attachment Disorder, which thankfully Levi DOES NOT have) is the single most awful, heartbreaking, and PREVENTABLE disability in existence.  Out of necessity, Josh and Angie have received less than their share of our attention as we have managed the consequences of Levi's disability and that will change.  After the Waiting, we can look back and see that everything that happened was part of God's plan for Levi, and for us.  He was not one minute late.  After the Waiting, we are excited what is next for Levi and for our family.