Starting Over

Today, our family is starting over.  After 18 months away, Levi is home and our family is complete.  I write this post with caution, as I want to be very clear.  As you read, please know this....we want our family to be home together, and we always have.  This move was carefully considered and meticulously planned.

We are excited to have Levi back at home, where he belongs.  We had the best day.  After picking Levi up, we went shopping together, ate lunch together, and then came home to a quiet evening together.  It felt "normal", which is a rare occurrence for us.  The missing piece of the puzzle is in place.

I know that there are those who will question our decision to move Levi home again.  He has struggled at home in the past and we have had some pretty humbling experiences together.  To those, I would say that every child deserves and needs a family.  That is what brought him into our home in the first place.  The past 18 months were not wasted and Levi has excelled in his home and school environments.  During those months, we were no less of a family, but elements of "regular" family activities were different.  We still evaluated school progress and spent weekends and vacations together.

Levi has grown and changed and he is ready to begin again in Clatskanie. It is my hope that his peers and adults alike will give him that chance.  His courage and resilience are unparalleled.  My son is a warrior, who never asked for or deserved the insults to him that happened before he was born, and who is determined to be victorious over them.

Toby and I are scared.  In fact, we are terrified.  Not that Levi will fail, or that we will.  No, we are apprehensive about our community's ability to show him the grace and compassion he deserves.  Small towns are funny that way sometimes.  It is easier to have a new start when you can assume some level of anonymity, but Levi will not have that benefit.

Bringing Levi home today is no less terrifying than the day he arrived in our home, weighing only 5 pounds, in the middle of a snowstorm.  That little bundle came with a huge batch of needs, and we felt much the same as we do today.  Excited for the future, anxious about our abilities, proud of Josh and his love for his sibling, and worried for our precious new son.  Today is a new beginning and our family is, once again, complete.