Keeping It Real

     Toby and I have been struggling lately to keep up with all of the appointments necessary for two kids with extra needs.  Particularly Angela, who has had medical or dental appointments in Portland once or twice per week for the past month or longer.  The trip to Portland ends up taking most of a day each time, and I am so grateful that Toby is self-employed and has a schedule that usually allows him to take Angela to her appointments.  They both really enjoy their time together, and to be honest, I get a little jealous that it can't be me.  It is basically a party on wheels-the two of them cackling and joking the entire time.  They always come home with stories.

     We are fortunate, Toby and I.  We have been blessed with the resources to care for these children. They have added so much to our lives.  We have learned more about children with special needs than we ever thought there was to know, and we have had amazing people supporting our endeavor to make their lives as full as possible, whom we may not have met otherwise.  Our other children have reaped the benefits of developing empathy, patience, and compassion at a young age.  We do not regret jumping in with both feet, having faith that it would all work out as we raised the children we fell in love with.

     In keeping with my commitment to being honest on this blog, I want to share the other side of the story......it is HARD.  Toby and I had our biological children at a young age, planning that we would retire early and have unlimited time together.  Not.  The reality we traded that for is that almost every day Angela expresses her disappointment that I am her mom, screams and slams her door on multiple occasions, and is unable to perform many functions of self-care without help.  She "hates" me often, even though I know it is her frustration talking.  She is a full-time job.  We are no longer young parents and we are tired.

     Do you know what always happens, though, when I become discouraged?  God sends me a special sign that I did not misunderstand the calling and this is the life that was intended for me.  He never disappoints and today I received such a sign.  Today, I learned of a scholarship application in which a beautiful young lady in Josh's senior class cited Angela's influence as the driving force behind her desire to be a pediatric nurse.  Wow.  She has allowed me to share the following excerpt:

 My passion for wanting to help kids comes from a little girl that lives in my community named Angela. Angela has had more hospital visits in her lifetime than anyone should ever have to endure and she is only eight years old. This little girl continues to amaze everyone in her life with her ability to stay strong and push through all of the medical challenges she faces. She currently only has half her brain because she had a disease in her brain that caused her to have many seizures that if they hadn’t done something drastic quickly, the disease would have ended up killing her. This little girl still continues to thrive every single day of her life and because of her strength and the amount of love she still has to offer people it has pushed me towards helping kids/ families in need like her and the amazing family she has.

     She will be an outstanding nurse.  The young woman never walks by Angela in the community without stopping to talk with her and to make her feel special.  She is a gift to our world and she will probably never truly know how much her words mean to a mom who worries about the future and struggles to keep a smile on the hard days.  It is all worth it, and today I was given a reminder.