I have been struggling.  This is a hard season for me as a mom.  We all have them.  For me, it is difficult relationships, physical and emotional exhaustion, and what feels like a heaping dose of disappointment.  Parenting is hard work.  You have them too, right?  Those tough days, one after another?  My day starts with the struggle to dress a non-compliant 5 year-old, punctuated with "I hate you" and "You are mean" followed by running away.  As I watch the clock to see how long I have until the bus comes.  Every.Single.Day.  Each morning begins with multiple doses of medications that I wish I didn't have to give my children.  We rush to get on the school bus (with or without breakfast, depending on his or her mood) and then I wait for the school to call with the first problem or conflict of the day.  I hold my breath and hope that when the call comes I am able to deal with the issue on the other end without some sort of government agency becoming involved.  I have a child that falls over and over all day long and I cannot help.  Another who is crawling in their own skin and cannot settle themselves.  I am not being dramatic, this is the real deal.

  In keeping with my promise to be real and honest here on my blog, I am writing the truth.  Years ago I began this journey as a parent to children with special needs thinking that I could save them.  I can't.  What can I do?  I can try every new intervention or strategy that I uncover in my research, which spans the globe.  I will search far and wide for the programs or plans that will help my children reach their potential.  I will not give up.  I am not done in.  But I am tired.  My heart hurts from the effort.

  How does a person cope?  Personally, I have submersed myself in worship music.  My faith is my comfort and I am grateful.  I plug my headphones into my computer and Toby reads my sign that I will be unavailable for the foreseeable future.  My sweet husband actually saw the signs long before the headphones went on today and has corralled the children for most of the day to allow me to revive myself.  And it works.

  We all have something, right? Some people drink tea.  Others run or do yoga.  I wish that was my solution:)  Some read.  Others write.  I have friends that go to the beach.  And friends that watch tv.  One friend flies off somewhere almost every weekend.  I can only wish.  In case you have not found "your thing", I want to share mine.  I challenge you not to be touched by this YouTube video by Kari Jobe (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AdlHTgbZ9k).  I have listened and watched over and over.  And it works.

  Whatever you do, find your thing.  This life is hard.  My struggles are not unique.  Yours are important too.  And I care.  I do not write this blog to have an audience for my pain.  I want to reach out and let you know that I care.  Find your thing.  It is your season too.