Parenting

I have been flooded with thoughts about parents and parenting lately.  I think of all of the different types of parents I know-parents of adult children, parents of children with special needs, adoptive parents, foster parents, birth parents, stepparents, new parents, and parents of children who were taken too soon.  Every one of these groups have something in common regardless of the path each is traveling.  They handed their hearts over to their children on the day they met them and will never be the same.

Parenting is so hard.  I don't care who you are, if you are a parent you have struggled at one time or another.  Or every single day.  We all talk about how rewarding it is to have children and how much joy they bring into our lives.  That fact is public knowledge, but we often don't admit how HARD the job is.  Remember when you first had your children and you thought the job of raising them was an 18-year term? Right. Me too.

We could not have realized back then that once we hand over our hearts we will never call them our own again.  Adult children harvest as much worry as little ones do, it just has different roots.  We are just as helpless to heal their pain as we were were they were an infant with a fever or a teenager with a broken heart.  Knowing this has given me a whole new brand of respect for my own parents who chose to adopt me as an infant and have parented me for 46 years so far.  And for my birth mother who gave an unimaginable and painful gift to her newborn child and the family waiting for her. That is HARD.

I don't know what your particular struggles are, but I want you to know that I care.  When I see or hear of a parent going through a challenging period, I want to tell them, "It is not your fault".  Why do we always blame ourselves and each other?  It is what we do, I guess.  There is no room for judgment here, though.  Who can know another's parenting experience?  I firmly believe that almost every parent is doing the best they can with what they know.  When we know better, we do better.

We are in this together.  Parenting is honestly the most life-changing, rewarding, surprising experience I have ever had. I truly feel it is my calling.  I just want us all to agree that it is HARD and to reach out a hand to each other when one is in need.  I wish we had a universal sign we could use to support one another through the tough times.  For now, though, if you see me around town, just know that I know.