Hard Days

Today was one of those hard days.  If you are a parent of a child with special needs, or maybe just a parent period, you know the ones I mean.  The days when you sit across the desk from a professional and he or she tells you what your child is unable to do, and may always be unable to do.  What other kids her age can do.  What you MUST do to help your child, although the results will be uncertain.  They almost always throw in a couple of strengths first, but those you already know and you could have written the list yourself-and the list would have been far longer if you had.

The professional is just doing his or  her job.  Most of the them are really good at it and between appointments you can readily recognize their expertise.  But, today, in the moment, I was not thinking, "How amazing that this person went to school for 12+ years and has studied hundreds or thousands of children before mine".   "How magnificent that she works for a renowned children's hospital."  No. Today, I was sad.  Not surprised, angry, in denial, or suspicious.  Just sad.

No one wants to hear that your child's IQ is much lower than you were originally told.  After all, the IQ is the Gold Standard of human value, right?  Or, that the gap is widening between your child and her peers and you and the school are not meeting her needs.  Who wakes up in the morning thinking, "I hope today I will learn that my child needs far more than I have been providing".  At least by someone's self-determined standards. No one.

You know what, though?  At the end of the day, I will accept feeling sad.  Because along with the sad, I am grateful, joyful, privileged, and proud.  I have a child in my home and my life that was not supposed to live.  I will be sad today but tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow, I will have hope that Miss Angie has already overcome huge obstacles and I believe she will continue to do so every day she is on the Earth.  This child has a purpose and she is going to fulfill it, regardless of the predictions of professionals.

Don't get me wrong.  I am thankful for the professionals to give me a summary of Angie's skills and abilities.  The same summary will tell them how far she has come when she has her next assessment.  Miss Angie Rae (Grover) Harris will not be kept down by one assessment. She is powered by her own steam .  Tomorrow is a new day and she will amaze us all.  Hard day, please take notice.  You are not the boss of us.