In-Between

Parents of children with chronic medical conditions live in a state of in-between.  Our children are either recovering from an illness or medical crisis or they have one in their future.  Usually both.  We count the weeks, or hopefully months or years, between hospital admissions.  We become a little complacent and cocky when the space between grows longer, forgetting how quickly the situation can change.  We are never relieved of being in-between.  We are always somewhere in the cycle.

We experienced the exhausting, mind-numbing, terrifying journey through a crisis this week when Angie was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Our in-betweeness is over for now.  We are in the trenches for the moment.  When Angie became sick with a cough last weekend, I began to plead with God (even though I know it is useless) to PLEASE, PLEASE , PLEASE not let this become a serious illness.  PLEASE do not allow her illness to trigger a seizure-or multiple seizures, as in the past.  PLEASE do not send us racing to the hospital in the middle of the night.  And PLEASE do not require us to consider that this could be the illness that changes everything.  Every one of these fears is completely reasonable in our family's reality.  It is the reality for all In-Betweens. We simply never know.

I think I can say this pretty confidently for now......this is not the crisis that will break our hearts.  We are sad that Angie's body continues to be wracked with persistent coughing, but we know she will continue to get better. We did end up rushing her to the hospital in Portland late Thursday night.  Her breathing had become labored and she was extremely listless.  Angie was admitted and treated with strong IV antibiotics and once again she was cared for by the staff that has a special place in their hearts for her.  She was able to return home late Friday and as the nurse removed her IV, Angie told her, "Thank you for the sleepover".  Sleepover?  It definitely was missing the popcorn, movies, and giggles of a sleepover!

That is our Angie.  She is taking the world by storm and she refuses to be kept down, by pneumonia, or any other obstacle she encounters.  She understands as few other children can, how very important the doctors and nurses are to her continued well-being.  She is grateful to them without us informing her she should be, telling every visitor to her hospital room, "Thank you".  She told one nurse, who was finishing her shift, "I hope you have a very good night".

We are home now and looking forward to creeping back towards the in-between.  I didn't appreciate it  much before, but I will make an effort to be more aware of the positives.  Every day at home as a family is a day to be thankful for.  I am always learning and this week and taught me to be grateful, rather than complacent.  I will not be cocky as our in-between stretches on, but I will also not be paranoid or fearful.  As I read in a Pinterest post recently, "My record of making it through bad days is 100% so far."