I am going to suggest that parents of children with special needs are most guilty of this. I know I am. We want our kids to have typical experiences and milestone moments as much as anyone else. We want our kids to enjoy the school assembly, the birthday party, and the holiday traditions like every other kid. But they don't.
This point was made clear to me during our annual family outing to the pumpkin patch yesterday. Angela was excited about the trip and talked about it with anticipation all week long. The reality of the trip was that she hated almost every second, starting with getting her boots on at home before we left. That was a screaming, foot stomping disaster. She did not want a pony ride, a tattoo, face painting, or to shoot a pumpkin through a huge gun. Her protests made her feelings very apparent to anyone nearby. She grudgingly picked out a pumpkin with Josh and Levi encouraging her. By the time we left, she was begging us to take her home. We did get one picture of her having fun:
Angela did not enjoy our last trip to the pumpkin patch, either. If I dig through my memory, I would probably realize that she never has. I did recall her monster meltdown and the school Fall Carnival last year and we, wisely, skipped it this time. Angela also is not a big fan of trick-or-treating and we limit her exposure on Halloween. But the pumpkin patch..........it is a family tradition.
What to do? We love our family tradition, but it is probably not worth it to make her miserable over it. Special events and activities are major problem for every other family I know who has a child with special needs. We are all struggling. I am not saying this to make you pity us. It is just something that many people take for granted-the ability to enjoy family outings without upset.
I will still probably post our happy pictures on Facebook, because they are real. They just do not tell the whole story. It is not how it looks.
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