I told Angie about the upcoming treatment a couple of days in advance and I was surprised by her response-" No, Mom, I don't want the polka dots!". What? I didn't even think she knew that the treatments left purple "polka dots" on her skin. I had underestimated her. This awareness is just another sign of how much my princess has grown over the past months. Her brain is working overtime. I have my theory about the reason for the growth but I am not quite ready to share it yet. Soon.
Crafts while we wait:
The treatment was completed without complication on Monday. As always, Angie amazed the hospital staff with her stoic, graceful approach to the process. We were home early and the day resumed as normal, as if nothing at all was different.
Tuesday morning brought the surprise. As I woke Angie for school, I was met with, "I don't want to go." "Please take away my polka dots". Oh no. The day I'd dreaded had come and my heart was broken. The "polka dots" are likely to last for up to two weeks and Angie needs her routine-she has to go to school no matter how much my mommy heart says to keep her home. I smiled and told her how beautiful she was and she seemed distracted for a bit. But the request kept coming-"Please take away my polka dots". What can I do? Nothing. The worst feeling a parent can have.
I have to be honest. I do not know the best way to deal with my princess's pain. Her teacher assures me that her peers are kind and respectful and I believe that is true. Each day, upon waking, she has the same request for me to take away the polka dots. This is just the tip of the iceberg and I am completely unprepared for the day when she realizes how very different she is from her friends. I need to plan ahead for that, but the most important message I want to impart to her is that she is far more similar to her friends than she is different. She loves, she laughs, she plays, and she prays. Her life is full and a few polka dots will never take that away.
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