A Social Experiment

I realized today that our family is somewhat of a social experiment.  As we bring a new little one (or occasionally a big one) into our home, the family dynamics automatically change.  The first few days, everyone is on their best behavior.  A little later, it is anybody's guess what might happen.

Four year-old Little Guy has been in our home for 3 weeks now and the layers of his true self have been revealed one at a time.  A family friend commented that he is an old soul, and in many ways that is true.  In others, he is a very broken baby.  I think that our society fails to understand how deeply children are affected and influenced by the behavior of the adults around them.  Experiencing or witnessing abuse and neglect can be devastating to them and can even paralyze their development.  Before I was a foster parent, I lived in a little bubble of ignorance because it simply did not touch my life.  If that is you, don't feel bad.  It is hard to think about, I know.

Since Little Guy arrived, we have focused on providing structure and predictability for him.  Our efforts are not necessarily welcome and there have been numerous learning opportunities and negotiations.  For him and for us.  He is  one of the most loving, affectionate children we have had in our home.  He asks for "more loves" (hugs) throughout the day and his smile melts my heart.  I cannot post pictures here because of confidentiality but take my word for it when I say, he is ADORABLE.  That said, the learned behaviors that are the product of abuse, neglect, and or just poor parenting can be painful and frustrating to manage.  We are struggling.  And yet, we are also thankful.....

I am thankful for the gigantic support system our family has around us.  We could not do it without you.  Foster parenting is my passion, but it is also exhausting, frustrating, and heartbreaking.  It can be brutal.  And it is the most rewarding job I have had.  If you are one of many who have supported us rather than judge our sometimes crazy household-Thank you!  If you don't understand why we do it but still smile and ask if you can help-Thank you!  If you have brought us a meal during a difficult period-Thank you!  If you have considered helping a foster child or a foster family-Thank you!  It takes all of us working together and I firmly believe we can have a lasting impact on the lives of hurting children.

Enjoy your weekend:)