The Story of a Boy

I will try to keep this short but I couldn't let today go by without telling the story of Levi.  Thirteen years ago today, a tiny baby was born weeks too soon in a chaotic, unsettled series of events.  Our family hoped he would join us and 3 days later our hope was made a reality.  I will never forget the day he was delivered to us in a snowstorm, wearing only a t-shirt and a diaper.  I was in love.

Our baby boy was born trembling uncontrollably and uncomfortable in his skin.  The lights and sounds of the world were an assault to his system.  He couldn't eat or sleep as other babies did and this continued for over 6 months, eventually requiring serious medical interventions.  To be truthful, it continues on some level today.  Over the years he was slapped with an alphabet soup of diagnoses but none of them should define him, they simply help the professionals understand what might or might not help him.  Pretty worthless, actually.

Since the day that we welcomed Levi into our family there have been highs and lows and they have been extreme.  We dug into our parenting reserves and often we came up empty.  And yet, there was joy.  Knowing what I know today, I would do it all over again.  Levi has made me into who I am.  Because of him, I know that I can withstand the most excruciating of tests and I will not be broken.  I have learned to advocate and to not give up when I am told NO.  I have learned the true meaning of unconditional love and that love is an action, not a feeling.  And most importantly, I have learned what it feels like to have a child take up permanent residence in my heart, regardless of his physical location.  I am a better person for knowing and loving him.

We never would have guessed that Levi would eventually be made whole by a set of circumstances that require him to live outside our home.  Of course we didn't.  What is important is that HE IS.  I am anxious for the day when he can be home again, if that day comes, but for now, it is enough to know that we have come full circle and it feels like a victory.

Happy birthday, my precious son.  We love you more than you know.