Mother's Day

Mother's Day.  You knew I would have something to say about that, didn't you?  I am passionate about the institution of motherhood.  If I have learned anything about motherhood over the years it is this: It is far from simple.

I used to think you gave birth and then you were a Mother.  You do and you are.  But what about the other Mothers?  The Mothers who give birth but do not take their child home to raise them?  The Mothers who care for children born to other women, through foster care or adoption, or just by choice?  What about the Mothers who we call "stepmothers"?  The Mothers whose parenting was interrupted because they were unable to keep their child safe and healthy?  And the Mothers whose children were taken to Heaven far too soon?

We are all important.  To our children, none of these is less a "Mother".  Our children's identities depend on us honoring each Mother on Mother's Day, and every day.  Every child identifies with their biological mother, regardless of whether she is a present in their daily lives.  I have learned through being a foster parent that no event, history of neglect, or even a crime can steal a child's love for their Mother.  For those Mothers whose biggest mistake is forgetting to send a child to school with their favorite toy on "show and tell" day this is good news.  For the Mother who is not parenting, whatever the reason, this is very good news.

So, as Mother's Day approaches, I think of my children's "other mothers" and of my own, as I was adopted as an infant.  There is no gift more precious than the gift of life and nothing can take that honor away from you.  In a culture that upholds a woman's "right to choose" you chose life and my life will never be the same because of your choice. I don't want to start a debate about which mother is "real" and which has contributed the most. Tomorrow is a day for all of us.  We are all important and have contributed to our children's legacy.

Motherhood is hard.  It deserves celebration.  Tomorrow, I celebrate all mothers and their gifts and sacrifices.  None of you is less or to be forgotten.


"But behind all your stories is your mother's story, for hers is where yours begins."
Mitch Albom-For One More Day