I am back!!

I can't believe I have been away from writing so long.  I really need a dose of writing therapy every couple of days but I have been at a conference for work in Bellevue since Friday afternoon and am just beginning to get back to reality.  Toby was able to attend the conference with me and we learned so much, both personally and professionally.  I was stretched WAY outside of my comfort zone.  I am still processing all of the information so maybe I will write about my experience another time.  It actually was life-changing and I am anxious to put my new perspective to work.

Angie had a great day at school today.  By definition, that is a day when she did not use any naughty words and did not have to go to time out.  YEAH ANGIE!!!  However, despite my pride I am realizing that I have been placing far too much importance on the rating of Angie's school days and this is something I am going to change.  Don't get me wrong, her behavior in the classroom is very important, but I have been allowing it to define her for me.  Angie is miracle and her perseverance and positive attitude are a lesson for us all.  Angie's behavior does not define her. There is so much more.  Energy, exuberance, joy, humor, compassion, drive, empathy, love, and so, so much that I don't even have words for.  Starting today, those qualities will be foremost for me as we continue to help our precious girl adapt to the rules and routines in the classroom.  I owe her an apology and she deserves better.  She is better.

Speaking of deserving better, don't you think we all deserve better than we allow ourselves to have? By that, I mean our harsh judgments of ourselves.  You know what I mean.  All of our  self-talk of "I Should Have", "Why Didn't I?", "Why Did I", Why Can't I?" Why do we do that to ourselves?  It is the same behavior as my limiting my definition of Angie to her "daily rating", only worse.  Please stop.  I know you and you are amazing, compassionate, thoughtful, generous, smart, humble, people.  Your behavior does not define you, your heart does.  Be easy and forgiving to yourselves.  Be gentle. You deserve it too.