In my heart

For the past few weeks, Angie has been telling me, "Mommy, Jesus is in my heart."  The first time I heard it, I was shocked.  It was as if she had said, "Mommy, I am training for a marathon".  Not even on my radar.  Don't get me wrong, we are regular church attenders and have been active in our church for over 20 years.  We openly express our faith to our children.  Attending the children's program at our church is the highlight of Angie's week.  She loves to be included and to learn with the other kids and the teachers always comment that she is extremely polite and well-behaved (yeah!).  She hates to miss a single session.  But really, I completely underestimated her.  I did not realize she was able to embrace the message.  I am feeling a little ashamed of myself.  Angie has listened and has taken in the truth-Jesus loves her and he lives in her heart.  What a comfort that is to me.  To know that my girl understands Jesus' love and how precious she is to Him.  It is a gift.  A promise that cannot be broken.  A love for her entire lifetime.

Today, she surprised me again.  We were driving to her therapy appointment and she, predictably, kept up a constant stream of chatter.  Now, I love to visit with her but sometimes I kind of tune out as a form of self-preservation. And today I did that-I had to.   So, I came back to the conversation just in time to hear her say, "Mommy, I grew in your tummy."  Uh-oh.  I was stunned to silence. I guess she must have heard this from one of her school friends because it is not a theme she has heard at home. Then I remembered a book that I read to the boys when they were little and I said, "No, sweetie, actually you grew in my heart".  She loved that.  "Like Jesus?"she asked.  "Exactly. " A promise that cannot be broken.  A love for her entire lifetime.

The heart has been represented in a variety of ways over the years.  The heart is referenced when a young girl is lovesick over a middle-school crush.  Its image decorates our valentines.  As we get older, our blood pressure and cholesterol levels tell us about the condition of our physical heart.  The heart is the topic of romance novels and teen fiction.  But what do we really mean when we say someone is "in our heart"?  Our heart is just a muscle.

I believe what we are really referring to is our soul.  Some relationships touch us deep in our soul.  A bond based not on emotion but on commitment and loyalty.  Respect and dedication.  If you have experienced this bond, you are blessed.  Relationships that take root in the soul are the ones that give us hope on the dark days.  Listen when we need to be heard.  And love us, no matter what.  They stand by us when they don't agree with our choices and they stand up for us when they don't have to.  Jesus does it perfectly, but we can try it too. A promise that cannot be broken.  A love for an entire lifetime.

Angie is an example of unconditional love.  She will boldly tell you otherwise when she is temporarily upset but she loves with all of her being.  Not afraid to talk to other children in the hospital waiting room or to express her affection for her therapists, she is all in.  Holding nothing back.  She loves her teacher, her aide, her home caregiver, her siblings, her parents, her caseworker, her therapists, her school friends, family friends, her brothers' and sisters' friends, pets, and neighbors.  Her love knows no boundaries.  She loves loud and proud.  Sometimes I worry about that, but should I?  After all, who doesn't need one more person to love them?  A promise that cannot be broken.  A love for an entire lifetime.