Perspective

Do you ever feel like life is going way too fast? I am just having a hard time keeping up right now.  We are fine, but moving forward at full force.   Nothing earth-shattering has happened, but all of a sudden we have a full plate of needs to deal with.

Angie is going to have another laser treatment on her face and arm in the next few weeks.  The treatments have been a blessing and we are grateful for them, but they do leave her with purple spots covering her face and the stares we get when we go out are never welcome.  It bothers me a lot and yet Angie doesn't even notice.  And, not surprisingly, it is adults who are most unkind.

Another round of botox injections is also in our girl's future.  We saw "Dr. Steve" this week and he is happy with the results of the injections but he wants to see if we can get more relief for her shoulder this time.  She has recently been complaining of pain when she is dressing and when the therapist stretches her shoulder.  Again, I am grateful for every opportunity to make her life better.  I complain about Oregon Medicaid, but she has not gone without anything she needs. We are so blessed.

Levi is struggling with pain in his ankle and is walking on his toes again.  Just when I had almost forgotten his cerebral palsy diagnosis I am reminded of the physical challenges he experiences.  He should be wearing leg braces but refuses-ABSOLUTELY REFUSES.  And I am aware of the amount of arguing we will have with him when we try to address his muscle tone in the way it should be treated, with braces or botox.

Today, I took Angie to the hospital for an evaluation with a new physical therapist.  During the evaluation, the therapist asked Angie to perform different tasks to test her strength and balance.  It was hard work.  In the middle of the session, as I saw that she was struggling to complete the tasks, I was aware that I was holding my breath.  My heart rate was racing.  I was almost beside myself with wanting her to be successful.  And then, I thought So what!  Really, who cares if she can stand on one foot for 30 seconds?  Or with her eyes closed?  Or get out of a chair without using her hands to push up?  Who cares?  Of course, this test was not to determine success or failure.  It was just a measurement of her skills.  I knew that in my head from the beginning, but my heart took a little longer to understand.  My girl is already a success.

What a relief! I know now that my life does not depend on test results, and neither does hers.  If she is never able to stand on one foot, but she is kind and considerate and has a handful of friends, she is a success.  You know what?  I am not sure if I can stand on one foot for 30 seconds.  Can you?